Have you heard the term “cords” or “cording” before? Perhaps you have come into contact with one of the shamanic traditions that have recognized this phenomenon ages ago? Or maybe you had a chance to learn from an NLP practitioner how to disconnect from all the ties with other people that hold you back? No?
Then maybe traditional psychology is more the area you are interested in? But even there, the phenomenon of cording has been recognized, albeit under a different term. Who would have thought that the well-known effect of transference and counter-transference happening between therapist and client is just this very same mechanism?

So let’s take a look what is really going on when two people cord, that is: get emotionally entangled.

It turns out that these entanglements are the result of two people acting from a particular place of emotional issues. I am talking about fixed beliefs, stuck emotions, emotional patterns, condensed experiences or whatever this has been called in different modalities and therapies.

Now the important thing to observe here is that these patterns are complementary. So the people involved do not exhibit the same patterns or stuck beliefs, but rather two (or more) patterns that complement each other and need each other to continue to be acted out.

For example:
Person A has a pattern that says “I am dumb” and Person B has a pattern that says “I have to know better than others”. So they interact from a place where Person B demonstrates their superior knowledge while Person A gets confirmation of their belief that they are not intelligent.

to be continued….

Sources:

Dr. Grant McFetridge, Subcellular Psychobiology, ISPS Press 2014

Dr. Daniel Zeiss, Have Less Attachment to other People

Psychology of the Future: Lessons from Modern Consciousness ResearchBy Stanislav Grof, M.D.